If you’ve been told that sex should be easy, hot, and happen “naturally”, you’re not alone.
Sex feels like isn’t working like it should, and it’s causing problems in your life and relationships. You don’t want to let you or your partner down, but you can’t help what is going on and the anxiety keeps getting worse.
Difficulties with sex can come from a number of places. For some, the act of sexual intercourse itself hurts. You’re either trying to “push” through the pain, or you’re avoiding having sex altogether.
Or if you have a sexual performance problems – like issues with arousal or orgasms – it can feel impossible to relax before or during sex. This could be recent or life long issues.
Health conditions, aging, or past trauma can also affect your sexuality, making desire and pleasure harder to access. Despite trying different solutions, emotional and/or physical struggles may persist.
There’s a good chance you’ve thought about this for a long time and tried various solutions to “fix” it. And maybe some things have helped a little, but you’re still struggling.
Difficulties with sex can come from a number of places. For some, the act of sexual intercourse itself hurts. You’re either trying to “push” through the pain, or you’re avoiding having sex altogether.
Or if you have a sexual performance problems – like issues with arousal or orgasms – it can feel impossible to relax before or during sex. This could be recent or life long issues.
Health conditions, aging, or past trauma can also affect your sexuality, making desire and pleasure harder to access. Despite trying different solutions, emotional and/or physical struggles may persist.
There’s a good chance you’ve thought about this for a long time and tried various solutions to “fix” it. And maybe some things have helped a little, but you’re still struggling.
Types of sexual dysfunction
Sexual dysfunction refers to specific sexual issues that impact or prevent people from experiencing pleasure or satisfaction. These issues can occur at any point of the sexual response cycle, from lack of sexual desire to orgasm disorders to pain disorders.
Key symptoms of sexual dysfunction include:
- Genital or pelvic pain during sex (ex: dyspareunia, vaginismus, vulvodynia, pain during arousal or orgasms)
- Problems with erections or inadequate vaginal lubrication
- Premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation
- Difficulty achieving orgasm or having no orgasm at all
- Performance anxiety before or during sex
- Pain due to hormones, illness, or medical complications
Psychological factors, such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, poor body image, and relationship problems impact how easy it is to have sex. Certain medical conditions can cause or exacerbate sexual dysfunction. For example, diabetes, neurological disorders, and heart disease may impact sexual response. In addition, aging or other conditions that affect hormones will change your sensations and how you experience sex. Pelvic floor problems in any gender can cause pain during sex or other bodily functions.
YOUR SEXUAL LIFE IMPACTS YOUR EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING
It’s no secret that problems in the bedroom can result in problems with your mental health. The following symptoms exist on a spectrum, and they often worsen with stress. Without proper treatment, they can significantly affect your self-esteem and relationships.
In therapy, we will work together to further solidify your therapy goals and identify what needs to change, and create a plan for you to achieve them. Over the course of your therapy treatment, I will provide ongoing feedback and offer various solutions intended to help you improve your well-being. Based on your specific goals, therapy may be either short-term or long-term.
How sex therapy can help you
The truth is that sex is incredibly complex, and just like anything else, it evolves over time. While sexual issues can be challenging to live with, things can improve. Working with a sex therapy specialist can help you put the pieces together. My goal for therapy is to provide you with support and practical, effective guidance. My specialties include helping both individuals and couples to:
- Better understand “what is normal” and what you need to know about your condition.
- Lessen or eliminate performance anxiety before sex.
- Create a plan for how to have sex with less pain.
- Gain techniques and resources on how to assist arousal and orgasms.
- Linking potential causes to previous sexual experiences or traumas.
- Collaborate with other medical or sexual health professionals, such as pelvic floor therapists or surrogate partners.
Sex therapy is similar to regular therapy. We don’t have physical touch. We’ll just be talking, and you’ll never be required to discuss things or do anything you’re not ready for. We will dive into your thoughts, experiences, feelings, and functioning around sex. This work may feel vulnerable, but most clients find they wish they had this outlet for these discussions earlier. I embrace that your sexuality is about more than just sex. Once we start to peel back the layers, we find out the whole is more interesting than the parts.
What if I have other problems besides sex?
It’s common for clients with sexual concerns to have anxiety and depression attached to it. Sex may feel like the biggest stressor in your life, but there can also be old history or troubles in your life that have gone unnoticed or unresolved.
The magic of working on sex in therapy is that it has a way of pulling in the big picture of your life. When we put your big picture together, we’ll have a better understanding of your current challenges and can create a plan on where to go next. There may be instances when other issues besides sex are more urgent or pressing and we need to shore you up there first.
I like to work with you as your only individual therapist. If you have an existing individual therapist and would like to explore working with me for sex-related issues, I address this more in depth in my FAQ.
The magic of working on sex in therapy is that it has a way of pulling in the big picture of your life. When we put your big picture together, we’ll have a better understanding of your current challenges and can create a plan on where to go next. There may be instances when other issues besides sex are more urgent or pressing and we need to shore you up there first.
I like to work with you as your only individual therapist. If you have an existing individual therapist and would like to explore working with me for sex-related issues, I address this more in depth in my FAQ.
Untreated problems with sex can get worse over time.
You deserve an empowered and satisfying sex life!
It’s frustrating to feel like your body doesn’t work the way it should and not know where to turn. You don’t want to waste time on ineffective solutions or therapists who can’t address your specific issue. I want you to feel more confident and pleasure with sex than you do now.
I see clients in my office in San Francisco, California. As a certified sex therapist, I work with individuals of all genders, sexual identities, and relationship structures, including non-monogamy. I’m an ally to sex workers and have advanced knowledge of kink practices. Many of my clients are LGBTQIA+, and I often work with people from mixed ethnic and cultural backgrounds (like myself), including first- and second-generation immigrants and BIPOC clients. Come as you are.
If something needs to change, now is the time to take action. Contact me for a free consultation.
I see clients in my office in San Francisco, California. As a certified sex therapist, I work with individuals of all genders, sexual identities, and relationship structures, including non-monogamy. I’m an ally to sex workers and have advanced knowledge of kink practices. Many of my clients are LGBTQIA+, and I often work with people from mixed ethnic and cultural backgrounds (like myself), including first- and second-generation immigrants and BIPOC clients. Come as you are.
If something needs to change, now is the time to take action. Contact me for a free consultation.