Sex isn’t as fun or playful as it could be, leaving you frustrated and disconnected.
When intimacy isn’t happening the way you want, here are some signs things are off:
- Lack of sex drive or feeling blocked about your desires
- Not feeling like yourself after a major change or stressful period
- Difficulty talking about or exploring specific desires with a partner
- Avoiding intimacy, feeling dread before sex, or faking pleasure
- Experiencing discomfort or pain during sex
- Stress on your relationship, worried about breaking up or cheating
- Hesitant to date other people because of sexual problems
- Conflicted about sex after early periods of shame or trauma
- Desire to expand your sexuality, but unsure how to do it
If you’re in a relationship, you might be at a crisis point about sex. The arguments and hurt feelings are causing fears about the future. You might avoid sex altogether to spare yourself the awkwardness, yet the silence can speak volumes. It’s tough to feel like you’re disappointing yourself or your partner.
If you’re single and looking, insecurity about sex can cost you valuable time, preventing you from forming deep relationships.
Many clients assume something is wrong with them, spending hours searching for answers—more porn! lingerie! try supplements!—and even go to therapy without discussing sex openly.
You don’t have to figure this part of your life out alone.
Desire exists on a spectrum.
From low to high and everything in between—it’s all completely normal. As long as consent is clear, there’s no “right” way to want sex. The reality is sex doesn’t follow a one-size-fits-all script.
All of us are changing over time, and what worked before may not work today.
What matters is how you navigate your desire. It’s important to understand what aspects of your sexuality you can control and what you can’t. If you’re unsure where to begin, it makes sense to reach for help.
All of us are changing over time, and what worked before may not work today.
What matters is how you navigate your desire. It’s important to understand what aspects of your sexuality you can control and what you can’t. If you’re unsure where to begin, it makes sense to reach for help.
Sex therapy vs regular individual therapy
It’s completely normal to be eager to understand what’s happening with you and also intimidated about what to expect in sex therapy. Many people want reassurance that they won’t be pushed beyond their limits (and you won’t be!). Most importantly, everyone is looking for practical tools to address their concerns.
Sex therapy with me is much like individual therapy—just two people talking—but with a focus on how all of your life experiences connect to and shape your sexual world. The strength of sex therapy is that it addresses the full picture of your life in unique and interesting ways.
Most therapists have very limited training in sexuality. As a certified sex therapist, I offer specialized expertise in both sexuality and relationships. My holistic approach as a therapist considers your emotional well-being and addresses the root causes of sexual challenges.
Sex therapy with me is much like individual therapy—just two people talking—but with a focus on how all of your life experiences connect to and shape your sexual world. The strength of sex therapy is that it addresses the full picture of your life in unique and interesting ways.
Most therapists have very limited training in sexuality. As a certified sex therapist, I offer specialized expertise in both sexuality and relationships. My holistic approach as a therapist considers your emotional well-being and addresses the root causes of sexual challenges.
Individual sex therapy can help you with:
Lack of desire or low libido
Embarrassment talking about sex
Exploration of fantasies
Changes in health or hormones
Confusion, guilt, or shame about your desires
Reclaiming sexuality after trauma
Questions about your orientation or being "out"
Cultural or religious influences on sexuality
HOW SEX THERAPY WORKS
- Step 1: ASSESS We’ll start by defining your goals, then explore key areas of your life—relationships, work, family, health, and past experiences are affecting you.
- Step 2: EDUCATE We examine any expectations or misinformation that may be hindering your ability to feel relaxed and comfortable with sex. You often get a better understanding of your problems during this time.
- Step 3: IMPLEMENT A crucial step of therapy – building trust. We’ll go at your pace to analyzing challenges and building tools to move from your comfort zone to your growth zone with sex.
Topics we can explore:
What if I have other problems besides sex?
While sex may feel like the main problem, other unresolved issues—stress, life changes, anxiety, depression, or trauma—can also impact your desire. Whether you can pinpoint the cause or not, we’ll explore where you are and find pathways to get you to a stable and healthy place.
Once we understand your story, we prioritize urgent issues or the places that need attention. Creating a strong foundation will set you up for success to experience intimacy the way you want. This also helps us have more insight into a plan that includes your sexual goals.
I prefer to work with you as your primary individual therapist. If you already have an individual therapist and want to address sex-related issues with me, I cover that in my FAQs. We can also talk more specifics on our consultation call.
Once we understand your story, we prioritize urgent issues or the places that need attention. Creating a strong foundation will set you up for success to experience intimacy the way you want. This also helps us have more insight into a plan that includes your sexual goals.
I prefer to work with you as your primary individual therapist. If you already have an individual therapist and want to address sex-related issues with me, I cover that in my FAQs. We can also talk more specifics on our consultation call.
Problems with sex and intimacy rarely get better on their own.
You deserve a vibrant, connected sex life!
Your sexuality isn’t separate from your physical and emotional well-being—it’s part of it. Whether you’re dealing with changes in your desires or libido, performance anxiety, confusion about your turn ons, or discomfort talking about sex with your partner or therapist, I can help.
I see clients in my office in San Francisco, California. As a certified sex therapist, I work with individuals of all genders, sexual identities, and relationship structures, including non-monogamy. I’m an ally to sex workers and have advanced knowledge of kink practices. Many of my clients are LGBTQIA+, and I often work with people from mixed ethnic and cultural backgrounds (like myself), including first- and second-generation immigrants and BIPOC clients. Come as you are.
If you feel something needs to change, now is the time to take action. You don’t have to do it alone. Contact me for a free consultation.
I see clients in my office in San Francisco, California. As a certified sex therapist, I work with individuals of all genders, sexual identities, and relationship structures, including non-monogamy. I’m an ally to sex workers and have advanced knowledge of kink practices. Many of my clients are LGBTQIA+, and I often work with people from mixed ethnic and cultural backgrounds (like myself), including first- and second-generation immigrants and BIPOC clients. Come as you are.
If you feel something needs to change, now is the time to take action. You don’t have to do it alone. Contact me for a free consultation.
