Mixed race couples counseling in California virtually

COUPLES THERAPY

Relationships & Sex

You really love your partner, but sex between you isn’t working anymore. The frustration and hurt is becoming harder to ignore.

Is it hard to talk about sex?

Maybe it’s too overwhelming to find the words to even start the conversation. When you do, you set each other off and it ends in upset, confusion, a stalemate, or tears.

When you commit to another person, you bring your hopes and dreams into the relationship. Those hopes and dreams bring expectations when it comes to sex with your partner. When those expectations fall short, it can leave you feeling guilty, disappointed, restless, or even doubting whether you want to stay with your partner.

Even the best relationships require attention. Going to couples therapy means that you’re serious about the well being of your partnership or marriage. Together, as a team, I’d love to help you explore negative patterns affecting your happiness and improve how you resolve conflicts together.

HOW CAN COUPLES SEX THERAPY HELP YOU?

Sex therapy for couples addresses the sexual problems affecting your relationship both physically and emotionally. Talking about sex can feel sensitive, hard to put words to, vulnerable, and intimidating. It takes a skilled therapist to help turn these conversations into ones that are thought provoking, clarifying, supportive, and hopeful. Not all couples therapists will address sexual issues in the relationship, and not all sex therapists can or even like to work with couples. As both a couples therapist and certified sex therapist, I have the advanced training and experience to help you discover how your relationship impacts your intimacy.

Some of your issues may look like:

What you can expect from working together

If you’re not clear on how to address stalemates around sex, you’re certainly not alone. Sex is still a sensitive, secretive topic, and many couples just aren’t taught how to resolve their sexual difficulties. I strive to help people move through the fears and awkwardness they have when it comes to talking about sex.

Sex therapy isn't just about sex.

My approach to working with clients is holistic, culturally-informed, and relational. I treat you as whole people with rich experiences and thoughts. In this work, we consider how various relationships, values, and identities have and continue to shape who you are.
While every course of treatment is unique, you can expect the following from couples therapy:
Identify realistic goals:
When we begin, we’ll collaboratively discuss what you’d like to see changed. Together, we’ll explore how sex and other current issues are affecting your relationship satisfaction. Having this roadmap ensures that we’re all on the same page for your treatment.
Challenge sex myths:
Both individuals and couples can have damaging stereotypes about what sex should (or shouldn’t) look like. Feeling bad about how your body looks, how desirable you are, or what you think you should be able to do in sex can also mess with your ability to be a present partner. Couples therapy will address detrimental beliefs and misinformation to help develop a healthier understanding of sex. Changes in perspectives will open up possibilities and opportunities.
Practice real-time healthy communication:
It’s no secret that poor communication can cause or worsen sex problems. Conflict resolution isn’t necessarily intuitive, and you may not have not been taught how to build a healthy relationship. My aim is to help you truly listen and talk to one another. I will offer coaching and insight on where your communication is getting lost and maybe even harmful. You and your partner will supported in trying out new communication tools in session.
Get useful at-home exercises:
When couples start sex therapy, learning how to apply things at home can be exciting. For some, there is a worry that they will fail at something or will have to do things they don’t want or are not ready for. Rest assured that the main purpose of your exploration between sessions is to increase connection and curiosity rather than focusing on sex acts. I don’t make suggestions without careful deliberation, and you’ll always have my support in discovering and setting good boundaries for you.

MY THERAPY PRACTICE IN SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA

You and your partner deserve to have a happy relationship and a satisfying sex life. This applies whether you’re newly dating, in a solid partnership, married for many years, or exploring an ethically non-monogamous relationship.

As a certified sex therapist, my goal is to help you both build more authenticity and experience more pleasure together. Change requires both intentions and action, but most couples find that it’s well worth that effort.

In my practice, I welcome all genders, sexual identities, and different relational and monogamy agreements. I am a sex work ally and have advanced competency in kink practices. Many of my couple therapy clients have one or both partners who are LGBTQIA+ identified. Matching my own background, I often work with people of mixed ethnic and cultural identities, first and second-generation immigrants, and BIPOC clients. Come as you are.

Book a free consultation to see if we’re the right fit.