You really love your partner, but intimacy between you two isn’t working. The frustration and hurt are becoming harder to ignore.
Maybe it’s hard to find the right words to start the conversation, yet the silences could speak volumes. When you do try, it can end in guilt, resentment, confusion–even tears. The good intentions and plans you have to make a change never seem to get off the ground. You’re tired of feeling like you keep hitting dead ends.
It’s not just in your head – figuring out sexual problems as a couple is difficult.
Hopelessness about sex can destroy the bond you feel as a couple. Even the best relationships need help, and seeking couples therapy shows that you’re paying attention to the health of your partnership.
HOW CAN COUPLES SEX THERAPY HELP YOU?
Sex therapy for couples focuses on how physical and emotional problems along with negative communication cycles affect your sexual connection. A skilled therapist can turn struggling conversations into ones that are insightful, supportive, and productive.
Not all couples therapists address sex, and not all sex therapists work with couples.
As both a certified sex therapist and trained couples therapist, I have the experience and specialized education to help you understand how your relationship impacts your intimacy and what to do about it.
Not all couples therapists address sex, and not all sex therapists work with couples.
As both a certified sex therapist and trained couples therapist, I have the experience and specialized education to help you understand how your relationship impacts your intimacy and what to do about it.
Sex therapy isn't just about sex
If you’re not clear on how to address stalemates around sex, you’re certainly not alone. The truth is while sex feels urgent to figure out, many couples aren’t taught how to communicate through conflicts at all. There are likely pre-existing patterns of avoidance, shutting down, criticism, defensiveness, and trouble getting past old resentments.
How you resolve differences in your relationship will show up in how you have sex.
My approach to couples therapy is holistic. You’ll quickly see how well you care for each other impacts how honest you can be—and that’s the foundation of intimacy. We’ll focus on building skills that strengthen your entire relationship. Additionally, we’ll explore how your history and values shape who you are and influence your expectations in partnership.
HOW COUPLES THERAPY WORKS
While each treatment plan is UNIQUE, here’s what you can expect:
STEP 1.
Identify realistic goals:
When we start, we’ll talk about the changes you’d like to see as a couple. Together, we’ll explore how sex and other current issues are impacting your relationship satisfaction. From there, we will create a roadmap that ensures we’re focused on your treatment goals as a team.
STEP 2.
Challenge sex myths:
Individuals and couples can hold damaging stereotypes about what sex is “supposed” to be like. We’re all shaped by assumptions about what we’re meant to do or be in the bedroom. This interferes with being a present partner or truly understanding your own desires. Couples therapy will challenge these limiting beliefs and misinformation, fostering a healthier and realistic view of sex. Shifting these perspectives opens up new possibilities and opportunities.
STEP 3.
Practice healthy communication:
Poor communication is a common cause of, or contributor to, sex problems. Conflict resolution doesn’t always come naturally, and you may not have seen how to build a healthy relationship in your early life. My goal is to help you deeply listen to each other so you can feel closer and more in sync. I’ll offer coaching and insights into where communication is breaking down or harmful. You and your partner will have the chance to practice and troubleshoot new tools in session.
STEP 4.
Get useful at-home exercises:
When couples start sex therapy, learning how to apply things at home can be exciting. However, some may worry about “failing” or being asked to do things they’re not ready for. The focus of your work between sessions is to deepen connection and curiosity, not on specific sex acts. I make suggestions only after careful consideration, and you’ll always have my support in setting and respecting boundaries that feel right for you.
Avoiding sexual problems can sink otherwise healthy partnerships.
You deserve a vibrant, connected relationship!
Couples who invest in therapy can unlock new possibilities—not just in sex, but in so many aspects of their relationship. Together, as a team, I’d love to help you break through negative patterns affecting your happiness and intimacy as a couple.
I see clients in my office in San Francisco, California. As a certified sex therapist, I work with couples of all genders, sexual identities, and relationship structures, including non-monogamy. I’m an ally to sex workers and have advanced knowledge of kink practices. Many of my clients are LGBTQIA+, and I often work with people from mixed ethnic and cultural backgrounds (like myself), including first- and second-generation immigrants and BIPOC clients. Come as you are.
If something needs to change, now is the time to take action. Contact me for a free consultation.
I see clients in my office in San Francisco, California. As a certified sex therapist, I work with couples of all genders, sexual identities, and relationship structures, including non-monogamy. I’m an ally to sex workers and have advanced knowledge of kink practices. Many of my clients are LGBTQIA+, and I often work with people from mixed ethnic and cultural backgrounds (like myself), including first- and second-generation immigrants and BIPOC clients. Come as you are.
If something needs to change, now is the time to take action. Contact me for a free consultation.
