[\sər-ˈvī-vər\ noun] : a person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks.
If you had to figure out a lot from an early age, but still can’t shake old patterns despite your success, I want to know more.
You did it! You achieved more in life than you thought you could or would. Where you came from and what you’ve experienced has made you into a survivor. And yet, you feel yourself stuck in your personal life. Whatever progress you’ve gained didn’t bring you the keys to happiness you were expecting. You’re attracting the same people you thought you could avoid. All the ways you had to cope from a tough childhood are still around and keep haunting you.

How much of the following is YOU?
• You are the one taking care of other people and situations.
• You read people better than most, and have a hard time trusting people.
• There’s always a fuzzy feeling the “other shoe is going to drop” at any time, and you need to be prepared for it.
• You can stay in an uncomfortable, even shitty, situation long term. In spite of that, you’ll settle enough to not rock the boat.
• When you’re partner is upset, you get anxious or uncomfortable.
• It’s hard to know your wants, and often conclude you’re just being too sensitive when you do know what you want.
• Deep down you wonder if you’re can get the kind of love you want.
• One way you deal with life is by having a “secret self” – where other parts of you can’t be seen or touched.
• Your fantasy world is rich and deep.

Clients come to me for individual therapy because they want make the links between what happened to them before and how it impacts them now. Often these folks are intelligent and hardworking, but are falling apart in how to take care of themselves and have healthy relationships. Their true wants and actual feelings may be hard to locate, especially to themselves. Scarcity in the early years, due to lack of resources or parental attention at critical moments, is fairly common.
What I do with clients is help to define what their goals are right now. With a little bit of TLC and honesty, we start identifying which patterns keep playing out in different areas of your life.  At times, there is a mistrust that anything was that “all that bad” anyway, or perhaps “it’s just in my head.” Without having to blame others, you’ll find that every person has a unique story to tell.
If you have a sense something needs to shift, now is the moment to take a look. Breaking up your ways of dealing with things means taking a risk. The good news is there’s a path toward understanding yourself better, and getting more of what’s nourishing and real. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. And I’m here to walk you through it.

Contact me for a 20 minute consultation to discuss where you are and what you’re looking for. Working with me one-on-one begins with a weekly commitment of 50 minute sessions. Longer or more frequent sessions may be recommended depending on your needs. Read more about my style, or review some FAQs. I have special interest in working with multiethnic and third culture clients. I welcome clients of LBGTQIA+, trans* and gender non binary identities. 

” It is a joy to be hidden and a disaster not to be found.” – D.W. Winnicott

© Deva Segal, SF Therapist. All rights reserved. 2020